The gay question.

Over the years I have had mild innuendo about “coming out of the
closet” tossed at me. In an environment based in a pseudo culture of
righteous “moral” conduct ( mostly based on religious dogma ), one
either has to be close enough to be kidding, or bent on getting into a
fist fight with this sort of thing. Thankfully, its mostly been the
former for me, and too few and far in between, really, to give it much
thought – let alone mention.

But having decided to immerse myself in this culture, I’ve recently
had the topic thrown at me in jest, mostly by a single friend, who
seems insecure, at best, about his own social situation.

Nevertheless, I decided to think about this for a bit. Have I been
attracted to people of the same sex as I ? Yes. Mostly in admiration
of some quality they posses. I’d like to be as well built as that guy,
or possess the same sense of justice or forgiveness as the other one,
or be a natural leader as yet another guy, etc. I’ve also had close
relationships with a very few trusted male friends, who I see as
mentors and sounding boards, than potential mates to live a life
with. On occasion, as older brothers ( I don’t have an immediate older
brother, and someone in that fictitious role catches my fancy on
occassion.) or alpha males, many times and as I grow older, as younger
brothers or even children.

A few naive thoughts that ran through my mind as a man are: What sort
of private role do members of gay couples play ? How do they, or do
they have sex at all ? ( the obvious answer is anal “sex” for male gay
couples, (which sounds a bit disgusting to me ) or some sort of sex
toy assisted stimulation for female gay couples. ) More importantly,
is there room for a “family” dynamic, where there is mutual nurture of
some sort ( emotional and financial ) ? Since, even with biotechnology
and human ethics at its current state of the art, having biological
offspring is naturally impossible, what do these couples have to look
forward to in the future ? Would family in the conventional sense even
be possible for them ? My feeble imagination can only see some sort of
commune type environment, with few or no consanguine connections, much
like the “Hejidas” of India.

Clearly, given that people can think for themselves, and “coming out”
involves grappling with these issues, at the very least at a personal
level, and then at family and societal leve, I imagine that gay people
have given them a fair bit of grave thought before taking the leap -
even with their presumably “natural” sexual inclinations.

I count myself privileged that my natural inclination is towards
women, ( and at the moment towards a particular woman ) and I feel a
lot of empathy for people with unnatural ( in the biological sense )
instinct of this sort – much as I would be empathetic towards someone
in a wheelchair, or a transgendered person – that they’re unable to
enjoy their inclinations in a biologically meaningful manner. If
compassion is a word that I can use to describe my feeling towards
such individuals, I would certainly not patronise them.

I believe, that unfortunately, religion and contemporary culture is
headed from persecuting them, to patronising them.